http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/index.php http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/interface/feed.png http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/index.php Copyright 2008, Stephanie Geno dwoods@joplinglobe.com (Stephanie Geno) en-US SPHPBLOG 0.4.5 http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/index.php?entry=entry051228-155233
To begin, I must give you some background. My husband is 29 years old. He joined the Army right out of high school to pay for his college education. He served as an infantryman with the 101st Airborne for his first few years of his military career. He has now been in the military for 10 ½ years. He joined the reserves in 1999 because he enjoyed the duties, yet wanted to attend college. He enrolled in college and was working too and then on September 11, 2001, his life changed. . I remember the morning of September 11 so clearly, as does every American, but one thing that stands out in my mind is as me and my husband were watching the news, he said “I’m going to get deployed.” I had no idea how right he was….This is his third deployment since 911. He left for Cuba on January 17, 2002 and served for nearly six months, then was assigned to homeland security for another five months; He was activated again and left on July 7, 2003 for Afghanistan. He returned in May 2004. He has now been gone for three months and is currently in Iraq. Although he will tell you that Afghanistan was just as dangerous, I will tell you that Iraq scares me to death.

When I met my husband he was the wildest man I had ever known. He lived his single life to the fullest, being an active duty boy. He was my parents’ worst nightmare although my friends reluctantly accepted him. They now all adore him, love him and see the man I saw in him from the very beginning. When we met, I was the mother of two young children, who were not biologically his, yet he loved them from moment one and they loved him. We have become the closest family one could imagine. I could not ask for a better daddy for my children and a better husband for myself. I thank God every day that he walked into my life. If I were to lose him today, I would forever be blessed that our paths crossed.

After six years together, the kids are now teenagers, 15 and 13. Our daughter is beautiful, smart and witty. She internalizes everything. Never shows her emotion, but will break out in ulcers. She didn’t miss a day of school this year until Josh left and she then missed two in a row for stomach problems. She worries, yet does not talk about it. She cries, but she does it alone. Our son is another story. He’s like me. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He will tell anyone that he comes across that his step-dad is in Iraq and how much he misses him. He wears his dog tags to school and sends him letters that are so sad, Josh can barely read them.

This deployment has by far been the hardest on all of us. The night he left , I could see in his eyes how badly he didn’t want to leave us. He held us like he was never going to see us again and it was one of the hardest nights of my entire life. I barely got in my car and on the road leaving his military unit when I received a text message from him that said “I already miss you.” This deployment has been different. I’m not sure if it is because of the danger in Iraq and the fear constantly looming or if it is because our life has been so blessed this last year that its hard to take a break from it. We had just bought a new house, the kids are doing well in school, he had a pretty good small business going and I have my job as a legal secretary, which is rewarding…now life is interrupted again.

I have noticed that I’m stronger in some ways because my kids are weaker. They have had a harder time letting him go this time and I have had to soldier up to get them through it. I lay in bed at night and would give most anything to have him beside me. I know that he’s under the same sky as I am; yet I always wonder what he’s doing, how he’s feeling and if he’s thinking of me at that exact moment too.

Being a soldier’s wife is a duty that you do not understand unless you have experienced it. I was raised in a patriotic family who is and were very conservative. Big Bush supporters of George and George W. My family has always flown their United States flag and has always had great pride in this country. Both of my grandfathers served in World War II; and my cousin was one of few Navy Airmen killed in the first Gulf War. Our family has never been short on patriotism, yet I never knew the full sacrifices. I hope this column will provide you some insight to the life of a military family and will make you stop and think about the sacrifices all the military families make to allow you your daily freedoms.

]]> http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/?entry=entry051228-155233 dwoods@joplinglobe.com Wed, 28 Dec 2005 21:52:33 GMT http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/comments.php?y=05&m=12&entry=entry051228-155233 http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/index.php?entry=entry051228-161821

Now its time to go to bed, for Christmas is in the morning. I’ve stayed up until I can hardly keep my eyes open. Josh works days right now so he’s working when I’m sleeping and vice-versa. They are nine hours ahead of us in Iraq. It’s been a melancholy day. I have basically just sat around the house and made home videos, for Josh of course. I don’t want to do much right now if it doesn’t involve something special for him. I so badly want to make sure he’s aware that our Christmas is NOT the same without him. Matter of fact, I left all the Christmas decorations, lights, the tree, all of it up in the attic. Didn’t want to touch it. Instead, I got a small tree…little table top one and decorated it with flag heart ornaments and tied little yellow ribbons all over the tree. It’s cute and it fits our mood. Small Christmas, small tree…big sacrifices this season.

Its now Christmas Day, December 25. This is the day the kids wake up, open their gifts, get all excited and thank only me. Do they fully understand that I only went and purchased the items, but Josh paid for most of it…Josh is just as responsible for their gifts as I. I wondered if they truly realized that. I pointed that out and they understood so they posed for pictures in front of their presents for him (already emailed them to him). Austin opened up his second gift and it was a portable DVD player. It was Josh’s idea to get it. I start to panic when I hear the words “Mom, how do I hook it up?” I immediately scramble thinking “what man can I call to come do this? Will Josh call so he can tell me? What do I do?” Mind you, I’m not the electronic wizard that I know most other women must be. Ironically, being that Austin is a male, he opted to read the directions and he was good to go. As for Addison, she had a lot of girlie items that wouldn’t have needed Josh’s assistance. Although she was definitely missing being able to spin around the room in her new outfit where Josh could exclaim how she was never leaving the house dressed so pretty and eye-catching for the evil boys that Josh seems to think only come to OUR house. We are now leaving for Mom’s in Carthage. It is there they will get even more electronics and modernized toys. Thankfully at Nina and Papa’s, they have three uncles’ all waiting to help with their electronics and rent-a-daddy needs. Also thanks to Nina and Papa, we received a Christmas present early this year before Josh left, which was a flag pole with a new United States flag. It beautiful. We proudly display our Army flag underneath. I’m glad he got to see that present before he left.

As for Christmas in Iraq, according to Josh, he and his squad received a Christmas tree there from his mother, which they decorated with bullets and grenades. I’m sure it was “electrifying”…or better yet, hope it wasn’t. He said they received a ton of Christmas candy, cookies and care packages from anonymous people (not including the loads of stuff we had sent). As a wife, I would like to thank all the people who do that for them. I know it takes away from your own family during the holiday season, but you have no idea how much it means to the military families that you cared about their troop during the Christmas Season. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas. Here’s to next year’s. It’s looking better already…


]]> http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/?entry=entry051228-161821 dwoods@joplinglobe.com Wed, 28 Dec 2005 22:18:21 GMT http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/comments.php?y=05&m=12&entry=entry051228-161821 http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/index.php?entry=entry051230-164219
On a most spectacular highlight of my holiday season, my beloved, favorite, fantastic, devoted, giving, caring and sooooooooooooooooooooo much not like me sister, Trish…bought me a new washer and dryer for Christmas. Mine were old, starting to go down and very small capacity. I do about 4 loads each night and still don’t get caught up. Trish gave these to me to “help make my life a little bit easier while Josh is gone.” This is a woman who works full time, rodeos with her children full time; and teaches several Bible study classes for young and old. I’m the last person needing pampered compared to her. But that’s my TT (my daughter tagged her with that name when she was 2)…I love her so much and she’s so good to me. Josh loves her too. She cleans out her desk each deployment and sends him the little odds and ends that she doesn’t want (like old lip gloss, tic tacs, Metamucil, etc.). It’s pretty funny. While in Afghanistan he was going to send her some camel stuff (better than the word poop) but apparently the US felt like a country with 20%fecal matter in their air, probably wasn’t the best import items. She fired another “desk gift” at him this time. We are looking forward to his returning the favor. Trish always keeps things interesting in my life, always has and always will. She’s my sounding board, my calmer, the one who has to tolerate me because we are blood related. She’s the one on my darkest of days who makes me climb my big rear end out of bed and forge ahead. I owe her a lot.

Austin has requested that he write a paragraph in my blog. Here it goes….Please keep in mind he is in 7th Grade, but he wrote it all by himself and he wrote from his heart. I’m not changing a word because these are his words: Living the life as a military kid is not an easy task. It is just as hard as it is to be the spouse of a soldier. When he left the first time it wasn’t as bad because I wasn’t nearly as close to him as I am today. He has been deployed three times and this one is by far the worst. I got really close to him throughout the last few years. When he left this time I was devastated for a very long time. I still am. He is like my best friend he played XBOX with me, we played games, we wrestled, he would take me to school and we had a blast. But, now every time I play XBOX it doesn’t feel the same without him being here. He might always beat me at HALO (a game for XBOX) but I always beat him at every other game; I miss being with him. There is a bomb in Iraq every day and I always wonder. Where was that bomb? Is he alright? Are all his friends alright? It just makes you wonder all the time if he is safe. He is a good soldier and I know he will be as safe as possible. But he is one of those soldiers that if it comes down to business he is always there. But I also know he will be there for me through thick and thin. I await his arrival home every day. I know he loves our family and he is doing this not for himself but for his United States citizens.

Well, that pretty much says it all. When I asked Josh why he wanted to go again? Why would he be willing to leave again? His answer was “All that evil needs to prevail is for good men to do nothing.” I typed it up and hung it in my office to see every day and remind me ….He’s a good man and he’s definitely doin’ something. I’m glad my children realize that as well.



]]> http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/?entry=entry051230-164219 dwoods@joplinglobe.com Fri, 30 Dec 2005 22:42:19 GMT http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/comments.php?y=05&m=12&entry=entry051230-164219 http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/index.php?entry=entry060103-132803 http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/?entry=entry060103-132803 dwoods@joplinglobe.com Tue, 03 Jan 2006 19:28:03 GMT http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/comments.php?y=06&m=01&entry=entry060103-132803 http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/index.php?entry=entry060103-132958 I too was raised by my mom and step-father. My mom and dad divorced when I was five years old. My mom started dating my step-dad when I was 7 and married him when I was 12. He was in my life for as long as I can remember. He had two sons that were his own, who also lived with us and I can honestly say that my step dad never treated me and my sister any different than his “own” children. He loved us and nurtured us as if he had created us himself. Did that mean I didn’t love my dad? Heck no, I love my dad dearly. He was remarried and had a son, so again...he was appreciative that my step-dad was so good to us. I never remember my parents (both sets) ever fighting about their place in our life. They all got along very well and it was nice for all of us. I want my children to feel that same sense of security and relief. My daughter spends a great deal of time with her step-mom when she is at her dad’s house. It doesn’t offend me, in fact, it makes me quite happy. I’m glad that she feels comfortable with her and I realize it doesn’t affect her love for me.
People will constantly say to Josh “Don’t you want children of your own?” He will reply “I have two.” Then the next statement is always “But don’t you want some that are YOURS?” He doesn’t appreciate that question and it always strikes a bad chord with him. At one point he said to someone “I think they are mine, they think they are mine…why do I have to have them as newborns for you to think they are mine?” He refers to the kids as “his son” and “his daughter” and he would break anyone’s neck that ever hurt either one of them. Its amazing the opinion’s others will interject without invitation.
I guess my whole reason for writing this was basically to state that families are made in all sorts of spectrums, all sorts of dynamics and truly, all that really matters if those in that situation are happy. I’m fortunate to have found a man who loves my children so much. I appreciate all step-dad’s, step-mom’s, etc. who can open their hearts to children that are not biologically theirs. Working in divorce law, I see too many times where the new spouse cannot get along with the kids and the marriage fails. Being a military family is difficult; being a “nontraditional” family has had trying times, and every family goes through its moments. My family is far from perfect…but we ARE a family.
]]> http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/?entry=entry060103-132958 dwoods@joplinglobe.com Tue, 03 Jan 2006 19:29:58 GMT http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/comments.php?y=06&m=01&entry=entry060103-132958 http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/index.php?entry=entry060109-110522
Well, it was our first week in the New Year. It’s kind of exciting in the sense I can say, “my husband will be home this year.” Well, he better be, or the Army might have one serious psycho wife hopping flights to Iraq. This short work week has gone on and on and on. Not much motivation to do my job (sorry Tina); not much motivation to work out (sorry rear-end and legs); not much motivation to be particularly even nice to my family (sorry kids). Addi will chant under her breath, “Please call, please call, Josh” as if that is the only thing on earth that will rescue her from my wrath. Austin became pro-active and actually sent a text message to his step-dad that said, “Josh, please call home. We need you to save our souls.” Next day I got a phone call from Josh, who said, “Why are you being mean to the kids? I got a text message from Austin.” I said, “I’m not being MEAN to them, just grumpy. I’m having a hard week.” He said “Well, be nice. This is hard on them too, not just you Steph.” It’s just that I have a problem with that statement. I believe my pain is more than anyone else’s. Granted it is not and if I think about it very long, even for a second, I know that’s not true…but that’s what I want to think right now. I want to think that no one else has two active kids (you just have no idea how active my kids are); a STRESSFUL job (again, no idea the stress); and a spouse in Iraq…its been four months today. Well, I don’t like it, I’m unhappy and I am suffering worse than anyone else on earth. It is one of those phases during the deployment in which I want to indulge in my self-pity. My friend Heidi says the first step to recovery is admitting I have a problem, so I guess I’m on my way to recovery because I KNOW I’m being mean as a snake.

Tonight Austin had a basketball game in Nevada. They were playing Carthage for the championship. Carthage is my hometown, and everyone knows what big rivals Webb City and Carthage are…so the environment was somewhat tense. Austin would be shooting free throws and this one particular parent would yell the entire time he would shoot. I could feel my deployment “stress” rising. My face, neck and ears were beet red. If I had not been sitting near responsible people from Webb City, including Austin’s principal, I probably would have jumped across the bleachers and clocked this guy in front of everyone. I’m THAT grumpy right now. Granted, Austin didn’t even notice the guy yelling and could care less. He is quite accustomed to this behavior towards their team….but Momma was extremely unhappy. I took in a deep breath, sat there and continued to cheer for our team. I was somewhat proud of myself for not making an absolute fool of myself like I wanted to do. Thankfully we won the tournament and everyone made it to his or her cars without being assaulted. Good job WC 7th Grade Boys! Congrats to the Carthage boys too, they played an outstanding game.
]]> http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/?entry=entry060109-110522 dwoods@joplinglobe.com Mon, 09 Jan 2006 17:05:22 GMT http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/comments.php?y=06&m=01&entry=entry060109-110522 http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/index.php?entry=entry060109-110623
I took our cat to the Vet this morning for his check up. He’s not been a very good boy since Josh left. He’s wet on my rugs repeatedly. I’m a neat freak, so it sends me into orbit…so I just throw away my rugs. I’m on about my 12th set. My friend Heidi suggested he might have a urinary tract infection or something to cause this behavior, so I gave in and took him to the doctor. $110 later I find out that this is not a health issue but simply a behavioral one…The diagnosis…Azriel is a spoiled brat who misses his daddy. He did need his shots and I bought some other things to help make his life easier, including some spray to put around the house to make him feel happy. Must be kitty marijuana or something. I know Azriel has it rough, after all, I know sleeping and playing with toys all day is a stressful life. This cat is Josh’s baby. I have never been a cat person and really to this day, I really only like my cat. He has been spoiled rotten since the day we got him and Josh is his primary caregiver when he’s home. The ONLY time this cat has not misbehaved in the last four months was when Josh was home for 3 days on leave. The moment he left, the bladder broke free again. Arghggghhhh! I have told Josh on several occasions that if Azriel starts going on our carpet, Josh will come home to a cat skinned rug. Hopefully now that he has his kitty “pot”, he will chill out a bit and realize Daddy will be back someday and I control whether he lives or dies in the meantime.]]> http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/?entry=entry060109-110623 dwoods@joplinglobe.com Mon, 09 Jan 2006 17:06:23 GMT http://www.joplinglobeonline.com/znewsblog/militarywife/comments.php?y=06&m=01&entry=entry060109-110623